I’m in high spirits this week, how about you? Hoping that this weekend I’ll be able to leave the house without melting because once I make noodle salad and get my fresh dill on, picnic time is in full effect. Here’s some other stuff, some things worth checking out and couple to avoid at all costs.
Living with and loving someone that is fluent four languages has made me keenly aware of how lame it is that I can only grasp my native tongue. I had tried in the past to brush up on my remedial French knowledge from high school (I was in French honor’s society after all!) but the tapes, books, and computer programs were always too expensive and weren’t easy to use on the go. I downloaded the free Duolingo app this week and I’ve been practicing my Français at the gym, on my commute, and in bed. A lot of the vocabulary is coming right back but I’m messing up on tenses and grammar as usual. I doubt that even if I do use the app daily (it bugs you to complete a lesson each day) I would become a confident French speaker unless I found some conversation buddies but if nothing else this app has been helping me use my brain when I’m playing on my phone instead of getting into a mind-numbing internet loop of cute puppy videos. I’d definitely recommend it!
Secret Body Spray
Typically I’m a snob when it comes to scents. I like my deodorant unscented and I usually let my favorite Gucci perfume take center stage in my personal scent. This week on a trip to my all-time favorite discount store, Lot-Less, I picked up a portable sized “Secret” deodorant body spray on impulse with the idea to keep it in my purse for humidity emergencies. Now I find myself spraying it on in the morning and basking in the all-day “Hawaiian” freshness. I’m sure this is why men and butch lesbians have been on the Axe train so long, whatever chemicals they put in this stuff is amazing. It lasts and lasts. When I’m stuck waiting for the train at the humidity death trap that is Herald Square I can smell the sweat radiating from me and the scent of pineapples and citrus bursting still from my pores. Picking up a full size of this stuff for sure since 90 degrees is in the forecast. I’ll save my Gucci for the days when I can take a cab.
Pinterest Fail Muffin Tops
I. love. Pinterest. From cold brew coffee recipes, to finding better ways to mix my essential oils, to deodorizing my shoes, my life has improved radically since my “pinning” picked up. Sometimes the tips and tricks aren’t up to par and sometimes they’re just too complicated for me to ever get to but I like to think of myself as a pretty seasoned “crafter.” I’m decent at baking too and I’ve made more than a few cakes and cookies from scratch. When I came across this banana snickerdoodle recipe, more aptly called “bananadoodles”, I was excited to use up my mushy banana collection and make some delicious cookies.
I don’t know why I thought a baking recipe could be “eyeballed” (I blame the Pinot Grigio I was drinking.) I had so many bananas and I really didn’t feel like making a double batch so I smushed up about 2 extra bananas into the batter. That would make them chewier, right? This was not cookie dough, it was gluey like cake batter. I threw in extra flour and tried to convince myself that a few hours in the fridge would harden it up. I ended up with weird doughy balls that were neither chewy nor cinnamon covered. After the first batch came out of the oven I started throwing in chocolate chips, throwing in the towel. My girlfriend, who graciously pretends everything I make is delicious, re-framed my fail and we both realized that as cookies, these lumps were horrible, but as muffin tops, they were tha booooomb~! I’m eating one right now. I still have more bananas so I’ll report back if I end up succeeding at the actual cookies this weekend.
Covering My Ass
If I have to read another women’s magazine article about how “sexy lingerie makes women feel confident from the inside out!” I will gouge my eyes out. I’m a semi-grown up lady, I have some semi-grown up lingerie for when the mood strikes but ask me what’s covering my butt on a daily basis and I’ll tell you it’s smooth, cool, and comfy cotton. When I’m at the end of my laundry rope as I was this week my old favorites start to disappear from my drawer and all I have left are lace “cheekies” I bought back when I was dating. Yes, my butt looks amahhhzing in these special panties but what is the point when I’m putting a pair of jeans over them anyway? All they do is ride up when you wear clothes over them, they leave panty lines, and let’s be honest, they make it impossible not to want to pick your wedgie when they get too adventurous stretching up your butt. Keep your secret, Victoria, it ain’t for me.
Happy end of the work week fellow capitalist pawns!